Felt I needed to drop a line. Thank You to all for the support we have received these last few months. Yes Lisa, the Tree is doing wonderful. I know Tracy is watching us as Mom has had nothing but front row parking in all her shopping this season.
Just wanted to leave something for all. This is a poem Tracy found for her Mom shortly after she passed in Nov. Only fitting I pass it on.
It is called "My First Christmas in Heaven"

I see the countless Chistmas trees around the world below,
with tiny lights, like Heavens star's
reflecting in the snow.
The sight is spectacular, please wipe away the tear,
for I am spending Christmas
with Jesus Christ this year.

I hear many Christmas songs that people hold so dear,
but the sounds of music can't compare
with the Christmas choir up here.
I have no words to tell you, the joy their voices bring,
for it's beyond description, to hear the Angels sing.

I know how much you miss me,
I see the pain inside your heart.
But I am not so far away, we really aren't apart.
So be happy for me dear ones,
you know I hold you dear, & be glad I'm spending Christmas,
with Jesus Christ this year.

I sent you each a special gift,
from my heavenly home above,
I sent you each a memory of my undying love.

After all, love is a gift more precious than gold.
What's always more important, are the stories Jesus told.
Please Love & keep each other,my Father said to do,
I can't count the Blessings or love
He has for each of you.

So have a Merry Chistmas, & wipe away the tear.
Remember, I am spending Christmas,
with Jesus Christ this year.

Wow, it's been 3 months today. Seems like so long ago & yet like yesterday. How does that work? I know I miss everything about her like mad. It sure is not the same around here or anywhere.
Any way, at the request of Rhonda, we are going to plant a Memorial Tree so we can watch it grow. I have purchased a tree & will be planting it this weekend, Sunday the 14th at my house. All who would like to attend are welcome. It will be arond noon. We will try to have some food, if you would like a drink or two, I'm certainly not opposed to it, it's part of a well balanced meal. Ha Ha. BYOB
But, doing ok, boys are fine. Have to get up every day because that blasted Sun just keeps rising, every single day. Damn.
Hope everyone is doing well & are having blessed days.
Please come to the planting.
Thank You all & God Bless.
RTCD

OK


Thank you all for responding to the blog. It has been a long road. Yesterday was, well yesterday. Not great , but finished OK. I have been reading seveal books to get me, us through & they have really helped. I encourage you all to read them as they have helped me alot. The first is called " I'm grieving as fast as I can" by Linda Feinberg. It was basically written for young widow/ widowers. wierd to think of that word. single doesn't work either. The other book is called "The purpose driven life" Wow. Please find these & try to read. They will help. I promise. I am much better today, seems like a different place. Have my moments still everyday, but they are ok. some come from a song, some from a comment through normal conversation, they talk about wives & relationships. EEEK.

But I'm OK.

Please call me if you need to talk & please get the books.
The boys are doing just fine. Corey is starting a new job next week & Dillon is doing very weel in band. They are giving him some responsibilty to lead. He's excited.
Love to all.
Ronnie

OK, A long time has gone by. Don't know what to say. Had my first counseling session tonight. Odd. Doing everything I'm supposed to be doing except for spontaneously crying with all of you. Just feel like I need to be stronger than you when you come to see me. That to will change in the coming months. Set up a group session for just us, so whoever wants to come, they are welcome. It is next Wed. at 6:00 pm. in Sun City. Call me & let me know if you want to come. Should be good for all of us. (Corey's coming) Can't give enough thanks to Rhonda & Dana for being so close to me right now. Sanity has a real thin line. Depression has a big fat line though. Sucks. Can't say FUCK MAN loud enough. Suppose you all knowby now Tracy didn''t die. She was killed. That damn thing took my wife.

Just another day. Kids are doing OK. Dillon had his first couple of days at band camp. He is so excited to start school. That too can be a distraction. Corey is finding friends to help. Tring to stay busy working. I had to miss another day of work. Not sure why. What a question. Did find someone for counseling. Will try to set something soon. Can't wait to see you Dana. It's been great to have Rhonda so close. I think she's keeping me sane right now. Lisa, Love you chick. don't stop writing yet. KK, hurry.

I am afraid.

Hey all.
Tried to find a picture to put up but nothing fit the mood. Plugging along. Boys seem to be doing OK. Trying to find their way. School will be tough for Dillon. She loved that he did so well. He'll miss that. Corey's trying to find his way in the real world with a job. Not so easy without a plan.
Just had a phone call from my "girlfriend". Might try to see her this weekend. Last weekend was good for my soul. We cried, drank, cried, drank, laughed, cried. Pretty much in that order. She has a wonderful place in Long Beach. I miss her.
Not avoiding the music anymore. I like it when it makes me cry. Hurts though. Phuq Man. Man.
Hard to find the words to make everyone feel better, cause I don't. People keep asking, " How you doin" LOUSY. It's easier for them to swallow than "I feel like shit that's been run over by a tanker then washed down the drain" sorry.
Back to work.
Love to all.
Thanks for the prayers!!!