OK, A long time has gone by. Don't know what to say. Had my first counseling session tonight. Odd. Doing everything I'm supposed to be doing except for spontaneously crying with all of you. Just feel like I need to be stronger than you when you come to see me. That to will change in the coming months. Set up a group session for just us, so whoever wants to come, they are welcome. It is next Wed. at 6:00 pm. in Sun City. Call me & let me know if you want to come. Should be good for all of us. (Corey's coming) Can't give enough thanks to Rhonda & Dana for being so close to me right now. Sanity has a real thin line. Depression has a big fat line though. Sucks. Can't say FUCK MAN loud enough. Suppose you all knowby now Tracy didn''t die. She was killed. That damn thing took my wife.

Just another day. Kids are doing OK. Dillon had his first couple of days at band camp. He is so excited to start school. That too can be a distraction. Corey is finding friends to help. Tring to stay busy working. I had to miss another day of work. Not sure why. What a question. Did find someone for counseling. Will try to set something soon. Can't wait to see you Dana. It's been great to have Rhonda so close. I think she's keeping me sane right now. Lisa, Love you chick. don't stop writing yet. KK, hurry.

I am afraid.

Hey all.
Tried to find a picture to put up but nothing fit the mood. Plugging along. Boys seem to be doing OK. Trying to find their way. School will be tough for Dillon. She loved that he did so well. He'll miss that. Corey's trying to find his way in the real world with a job. Not so easy without a plan.
Just had a phone call from my "girlfriend". Might try to see her this weekend. Last weekend was good for my soul. We cried, drank, cried, drank, laughed, cried. Pretty much in that order. She has a wonderful place in Long Beach. I miss her.
Not avoiding the music anymore. I like it when it makes me cry. Hurts though. Phuq Man. Man.
Hard to find the words to make everyone feel better, cause I don't. People keep asking, " How you doin" LOUSY. It's easier for them to swallow than "I feel like shit that's been run over by a tanker then washed down the drain" sorry.
Back to work.
Love to all.
Thanks for the prayers!!!